Growing up, I remember I couldn’t wait to become an adult. I wanted to have a career, a fancy car, get married and live a boss type life. I remember identifying with and wanting to become the successful women I saw on TV and in movies. My adult fantasies started early. I wanted to be Ally McBeal, Joan or Toni Childs from “Girlfriends” and Khadijah James from “Living Single” because they each possessed something I wanted. They made stupid decisions from time to time and had man problems but to me they were dynamic, strong women who were goals.
I planned my adult life not just around TV characters but actors in movies too. I’ve always loved to watch romantic comedies and films with Black actors in leading roles. Vivica Fox as Shante in “Two Can Play That Game” and Meg Ryan in “You’ve Got Mail”, yup.. They were me and you couldn’t tell me different. I was gonna grow up and find my Morris Chestnut/Tom Hanks and live happily ever after.
But life is not a movie, I’m not an actress and I don’t know how this story ends…
I learned to stop letting what I watch on screen dictate how I want to live my life because quite frankly, I don’t know any person in their early 30’s who’s up for partner with a corner office. And the lawyers I know aren’t balling out of control since they’re left with tons of student loan debt. Either the movie industry lied to me or I need to expand my network. Whatever the case, adulthood feels like a scam sometimes and I know I can’t be the only person feeling this way.
Relationships, both romantic and friendships, can be difficult to navigate and they don’t always play out like they do in movies. Not to mention, you may be acting in a totally different movie than your partner is. You think you’re in a romantic comedy and they’re with the drama. Things can just get really bad and cause you to question life as you know it once crap hits the fan.
What do you do when the love interest in your story turns into the villain? How do you cope when the job you thought was your dream is actually a stressful nightmare? Nothing we’re taught prepares us for the realities of life and it takes longer than an hour and a half to solve the problems we face. Life is not a movie.
I see a lot of people ranting and complaining online about how wack their life is or how someone wronged them. It annoys me to see this because social media comments can’t solve anything. There’s self-work that needs to be done that most people don’t wanna do so they turn to the internet instead. It’s not a movie, there’s not some montage with an inspirational song that plays in the background while the problems we face get solved. Instead, stuff just gets hard and we have to figure it out on our own. Tears get cried and changes must be made. That’s life.
I’m currently experiencing challenges that I never thought I’d face. I wonder if this is the climax of the story that is my life or just a part of the rising action. We’ll see. I just keep reminding myself that I’ve experienced challenges before and I made it through. I cried about it then bossed up. This will be no different.
Life may not be a movie but I do have a starring role in this life of mine and I have the power to make moves to determine how I want my story to end. That’s the beauty of it all…