What is Good Hair?

As an educator, I have the opportunity to engage in some pretty interesting conversations with my students. I find myself shocked at how much more advanced they are than I was at the age of eleven. Believe it or not, they have boyfriends and girlfriends already. Crazy right?

It’s funny how I’m always one of the first teachers to find out about the latest love connections on campus. Earlier today as I was passing out the final exam to a young man who I’ll call “A” for the purpose of privacy, another student, I’ll refer to her as “K” throughout this story, yells out “Did you know he has a girlfriend?”

“Who?” I asked shocked that such a quiet young man would be romantically linked to anyone at such a young age.

K says the young lady’s name and starts to describe her to make sure I know exactly who she’s talking about. “And she has good hair too,” she said big-eyed with a smile. “What’s good hair?” I replied. K then started to move her hands in a downward spiral motion near her head as she tried to find the right words to answer my question.

“Good hair is soft hair,” a young African American boy blurted out this answer to help K out.

K finally decided to elaborate. “Her hair is soft and curly,” she said “now you see what I’m talking about?”

I knew exactly what she was talking about and my heart broke when she said it. You see, K is an African American girl who wears her hair in its natural state most days and in braided styles on others. I told her that her hair was equally beautiful but her rebuttal included the fact that her hair gets “nappy” sometimes.

Uncertain of how or where she learned to like other textures of hair better than her own, I decided to give a brief lecture before they started their test:

I announced to the entire class that the only time they’ll ever hear the term “good hair” is when they’re communicating with African Americans. I made sure they understood that I’ve never heard of other races comparing and dividing themselves based on their hair texture. I told them that “good hair is hair that grows” which is a quote I remembered from my 8th grade teacher, Mr. Lindquist. He was a white man who had to deal with this exact issue with his students back in 2001. I encouraged my students to embrace their differences and not feel the need to point them out in such a manner. Finally, I let the 21 preteens in my room know that all of them have beautiful hair because it’s the hair God gave them and then encouraged them to never use the term “good hair” again because it can potentially put others down and it simply doesn’t make sense.

One of my Hispanic students encouraged me to preach on while many students began clapping. I felt like I made a breakthrough, but K brought me back to reality. Do you want to know what she had to say at the end of my profound lecture?

“At least I have good edges though, I do have some good edges…”

K seriously believes that her hair should not be labeled as “good” and there’s not much I can do about it. I know one conversation can’t change years of conditioning, but I sure hope I sparked something that will make them think twice before speaking negatively about themselves. This whole ordeal makes me wonder what I can do to help people be more accepting of natural hair textures. I can’t help but imagine how many other little girls feel just like K.

I personally have deemed it necessary to straighten my hair before job interviews in an effort to look “professional” and I know of several others who feel the same. I constantly ask myself why we think this way and what can I do to change it. This is part of the reason I started a natural hair care blog to help others just like me and celebrate the various textures of hair that exist.

Have you ever had an experience similar to the one I described above? And if you’re a parent, what are you teaching your child about their hair?

Thanks for reading!