First thing’s first, Netflix and their ‘Strong Black Lead’ team has been slaying all 2020. All my favorite shows have recently been added to the streaming platform. I’m talking “One on One”, “Moesha”, “Girlfriends” and more. I thought I was gonna have a Breanna Barnes and/or Moesha type of high school experience but I absolutely did nawt. And shows like “Girlfriends” (and “Living Single”) really helped shape me and my expectations for adulthood. These shows also made me wish I had a group of girlfriends to go through the struggles and adventures of my 20’s and 30’s with but the truth is I’m a homebody introvert who is good for one, maybe two hang out sessions per month. I’ve accepted my reality and settled for living vicariously through television characters.
My favorites characters to watch have always been Black women and you can’t talk about Black women in television and film without mentioning Mara Brock Akil’s “Girlfriends.” She did an amazing job crafting characters that so many women could see themselves in. I know that life isn’t a sitcom and our issues aren’t solved in twenty-something minutes but still, “Girlfriends” touched on some very real topics and showcased personality traits that so many of us have. I watched pretty much every episode of the show and found myself continuously asking “which one are you?” so that’s what I want to ask you as well. Before you decide, read my brief overview of each character:
Joan Clayton
Joan was the responsible friend and mother of the group. Career-wise, she seemed to have it all together as a junior partner at a prestigious law firm but romantically, her life was a mess. We admired her craftsman style home and wardrobe but cringed when we saw how she dealt with men. It seemed like marriage was her ultimate goal and she seemingly pushed the men she dated away by trying to control everything (i.e. the three-month rule). Her desperation and control issues were why many folks found her insufferable. As people binge-watched the series, we realized that Joan’s personality wasn’t the greatest and she was often very judgemental. She didn’t get on my nerves as much as she did others, but when I think of Joan, I think of the words “classist and egregious” and sadly more people are like Joan than they care to admit.
Toni Childs
Not only did Toni specialize in results, but she was a master at putting herself first. If you watch the show, you know that Toni was an obnoxiously bourgeois real estate agent who was in serious need of a reality check. From episode one, she was dating her best friend’s ex and she “grew” to become a mom who constantly belittled her husband for being financially challenged and ultimately drove him away. Many would say she’s a bad friend but I think she was just extremely selfish. Toni was materialistic and lived beyond her means likely because she cared a lot about what other people thought of her. Deep down, I think she was insecure despite her attempts to hide it with her outward fabulousness. I don’t have that many positive things to share about Toni but I admire her tenacity and desire to not go back to where she came from. She worked hard and after she became a mother, we started to see a less selfish side of her. I wonder how she and Morgan are doing these days…
Lynn Searcy
When I first started watching the series, I thought of Lynn as the unemployed hippie friend but as I kept watching, I started feeling her more on a spiritual level. To the naked eye, it looks like she mooches off of those she loves but she just had an unconventional mindset. Lynn knew that employment was overrated and didn’t want to work a traditional job because she knew it wouldn’t bring her joy. She had multiple degrees but didn’t use them to earn money because “making a living” wasn’t important to her. She was quite courageous if you think about it. Ignoring societal norms isn’t easy to do but she did it well. However, once she proclaimed music as her passion, we saw a more driven version of Lynn. My favorite Lynn quote is “possessions simply feel the void of not being loved” and it made me think about how we never really saw Lynn splurging on material items like her friends. In fact, her most prized possessions were pieces of art. Her taste in men kinda sucked and some mediocre men had her acting a fool from time-to-time but for the most part, Lynn stayed true to her “go with the flow” vibe.
Maya Wilkes
People like to think of Maya as the hood friend but she’s so much more than that. As the youngest of the bunch, she managed to level up from her position as Joan’s receptionist to an “authoress” with a best selling book. She was the most romantically stable of the bunch as she had the same man for most of the eight seasons of the show. And let’s be clear, Maya wasn’t “ghetto” by any means, she represented the everyday woman who came from humble beginnings. She was full of wisdom and often spoke up for herself and her friends regardless of who was around. Not only was she hilarious, but Maya was also confident in who she was. A testament to this is how she was able to maintain friendships with women who made more money than her without feeling intimidated or being a hater.
So after analyzing these fictional characters, I’m semi-sad to report that I’m a Joan who thinks she’s a Maya. Well, actually I’m a blend of the two but definitely more of a Joan no matter how much I hate to admit it. I can identify with Joan being ages 29 and 30+ and having the expectation that I should have life all figured out. I’m also judgemental to an extent so seeing Joan lay up with her boyfriend on the bed in the center of his cheap studio apartment bothered my spirit. I have Maya’s desire to be creative and use jobs as a stepping stone to reach my goals. Maya sure didn’t have a problem using the printer and paper at the firm to print copies of her debut novel… I stan a resourceful queen!
I’m curious… Which girlfriend do you identify with most?
